The Efficacy of the Poke
by HallucinatingDreams
Summary: DMalfoyHGranger The three steps to successfully asking the resident Hogwarts bookworm out to Hogsmeade, executed flawlessly by the mastermind’s unique strategy of the “Poke.” A conversation in the Hogwarts Library.


**The Efficacy of the Poke**

**Disclaimer: **The characters and setting are not mine.

**Summary:** (Draco Malfoy-Hermione Granger) The three steps to successfully asking the resident Hogwarts bookworm out to Hogsmeade, executed flawlessly by the mastermind's unique strategy of the "Poke." A conversation in the Hogwarts Library.

* * *

"Granger." 

"Malfoy?"

"Can I sit here?"

"Why?"

"Yes or no?"

"Why?"

"Can I sit here and hold a civilized conversation with you in the library?"

"Really, Malfoy, is this your idea of a joke?"

"No."

"Then why do you want to sit here?"

"I thought I already told you: to hold a civilized conversation with you."

"About what?"

"."

"Malfoy, I know that look on your face. Why are you _really _here?"

"."

"Malfoy?"

"I need to see the book you're reading."

"Why? Oh…oh! You procrastinated and haven't finished our Transfiguration assignment, have you?"

"Don't look so enthusiastic, Granger. And I haven't procrastinated. The eighteen inches isn't due for another three weeks. I've already got a whole foot done."

"."

"So. Can I sit here, Granger?"

"Since the assignment isn't due for another three weeks, Malfoy, why can't you wait your turn or just grab another copy of _Protection During Animal Transfiguration_?"

"I'm certain you know, Granger, that the library only has one copy of the book. As for 'waiting my turn,' that's what I'm trying to do."

"."

"Granger?"

"."

"For once—and this is _quite _amemorable moment—know-it-all Granger doesn't know how to reply. Should I alert _The Prophet_ and—"

"Oh! Just shut it and sit down already!"

(_Smirk.)_ "Step one completed."

"Did you say something just now?"

"Nope, nothing at all. Are you turning delusional, Granger?"

"You know, if you can't stay quiet, I'll just keep this book forever."

".."

**_…_**

"Granger."

"_Yes?_"

"I'm trying to annoy you."

"By whispering your intent to annoy me from across a library table?"

"Why…indeed."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Hmm."

"Stop staring at me like that."

"."

"You're unnerving me, Malfoy."

_(Smirk.)_ "Poke."

"'Poke?' You _really_ think that's going to annoy me?"

"Poke."

"I can't believe that's the best you can come up with. You didn't even touch me."

"Poke."

"I thought only muggles played this game."

"Poke."

"You do realize that without actually touching me, Malfoy, your only hope of distracting me from my reading is if I happen to be unnaturally sensitive to sounds."

"Poke."

"That's not going to annoy me, Malfoy."

"Poke."

"Feel free to keep 'poke'-ing me, if you sincerely feel that's a productive use of your time."

"Poke."

"Not annoyed…"

"Poke."

"Still not annoyed…"

"Poke."

"Stop staring at me like that."

"Poke."

"I thought I told you that it's disconcerting when you stare at me."

"'Unnerving' was your exact term. Poke."

"I'm just going to ignore you now."

"Poke."

"."

"Poke."

".."

"Po—"

"Malfoy! What do you want?!"

"Will you say 'yes' to what I want?"

"Will you stop annoying me if I do?"

"Yes. So will you say 'yes'?"

"It depends on the question."

_(Pout.)_ "Poke."

"What?!"

"'It depends on the question' is like an elastic clause in a contract. I want something more objectively concrete."

"What do you want me to say?! 'Malfoy, I'll agree to any terms you set, even if you ask me to cheat on a test or spy on Harry for You-Know-Who.' I'm not an idiot!"

"."

"Malf—Draco, stop glaring at me. It's the truth and you know it."

"You said my first name.

"Yes, well…yeah."

"."

".."

"Granger, I wasn't planning on telling anyone this. Only a few Slytherins know, and that's because their parents are Death Eaters. Can you…keep a secret? Even from Potter and Weasley?"

"I…yes, I can keep a secret. Even from Ron and Harry, since you actually used their proper names."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I refused the Dark Mark over the summer, Hermione. I swear on my Malfoy heritage that this is the truth. The Malfoy family is now neutral in the war."

"."

".."

"Mal—Draco, why did you tell _me _this?"

"I thought you deserved to know why I was so angry. Plus, I wanted you to realize that I'm not asking for anything related to the Dark Lord."

"Oh…oh, Merlin! I'm sorry for thinking you might have me spy on Harry."

"Apology accepted."

"."

"So, will you say 'yes' to anything I ask?"

"I…I guess. Only if it's nothing that might hurt someone else."

_(Smirk.)_ "Step two completed. Checkmate."

"Did you say something, Draco? I could have sworn I heard you say 'Checkmate.'"

"What is it with you and hearing things? I didn't speak a single word."

"Oh."

"."

"..."

".."

"."

"Malfoy, this silence is discomfiting me."

"Same here."

"What was it that you wanted to ask me?"

".."

"Malfoy?"

".."

"Draco?"

"Hermione, will you accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

".."

"…"

"As in, a date?"

"Yes. As in a date."

"No joke or bet?"

"None."

"You really want me to go with you to Hogsmeade?"

"Just say 'yes' already, Granger, before I rescind the invitation!"

"Why?"

"I fancy you."

"What?"

"I said I fancy you."

"Oh."

"…"

"."

"So, I know you already agreed to say 'yes,' assuming you don't think going on a date with me will harm anyone, but…do you actually want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"I think I'm too stunned to reply right now."

"…"

"Alright, yes, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you, Draco Malfoy, next Saturday."

_(Smile.)_ "Mission complete."

"Did you say something, Malfoy? That's the third time I've heard something like mumbling come from you today."

"I did say something, actually."

"Care to share?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Well, I mean…I su—"

He leaned over the table and kissed her.

**…**

"Do you still need that book, Draco? I have it, if you'd like to see it once we get back to Hogwarts."

_(Mischievous Glance.)_ "Would you believe me if I said I finished the Transfiguration assignment the night it was given to us, that I have my own copy of _Protection During Animal Transfiguration_? That "waiting" for the book was all a clever ploy to ask you out to Hogsmeade?"

"…"

"."

"Actually, no, I wouldn't believe you. Otherwise, you're a fantastic actor."

"You don't think that I'm a fantastic actor?"

"Nope."

".."

"So do you want to see the book?"

_(Blush.)_ "Uh…yes. Later."

**…**

* * *

Did you like it? 

I don't know what happened to me yesterday and today. I wrote a really tragic piece yesterday night, then a really angsty piece this morning, and now "The Efficacy of the Poke," which you can judge for yourself. All this writing, especially after a dry spell since March 2007, just strikes me as...peculiar.


End file.
